
We were late to the party with the last big horse game, Umamusume: Pretty Derby (I confess, I avoided it because I’m not that keen on gacha, though I am not above watching Gold Ship/Michael Jackson crossover memes on the toilet), so I’m getting in on the ground floor with Sha Beast Dressage.
It’s sure to be the next global hit. Who doesn’t want to parade around on a horse that looks like it’s made of ancient Egyptian embalming tools? Who doesn’t want to be trapped in “a perpetual cycle of non-consensual reincarnation” by a god of torture, forced to train up hellbeasts for exhibition to earn your freedom? Who doesn’t want to make the Nuckelavee do a croupade?









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