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Sega’s Like A Dragon Direct happened in the early hours for us UK netizens last night, which meant I woke up today to an absolute heap of flaming hot Yakuza news. Not only is Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth launching on January 24th next year, it’s taking Ichiban and co. to the sunny island of Hawaii! Kiryu’s back and in a battle with his biggest adversary yet. And you can become an unhinged Pokémon master, among many, many other things. We’re so back. We’re so effing back.
If 2023 is remembered for one thing, it’s that it was a 100% critical success year for the RPG. Role-players across the land have been feasting exceedingly well these past few months, what with the stonking success of Baldur’s Gate 3 (and to lesser extents, Starfield and Diablo 4), so we thought it was about time to celebrate your favourite RPGs of all time. Your votes have been counted, your comments have been sorted, and the cream of the RPG crop has been assembled. But which of the many excellent RPGs have risen above all others? Come and find out below as we count down your top 25 favourite RPGs of all time.
Hop onto Game Pass today and you’ll find the launch day arrival of Lies Of P, which Ed describes as “an instant must-play for Soulslikers” in his review.
I’m a Soulsavoider, so I’m more interested in the other games coming to Microsoft’s Full Convergence stepping stone in the next couple of weeks, including Cocoon and The Lamplighters League.
According to leaked documents, Microsoft are/were remastering Oblivion and Fallout 3. This is boring. The past decade of innumerable remasters has been boring enough, but remastering these two games is particularly boring. When even bother when all Bethesda have made since Oblivion is Oblivion remakes with added spacesuits or yelling? Boring. But while I think the torrent of remasters is a miserable sign of big publishers just giving up, if they’re going to do it anyway: why not Morrowind?
After a draining day’s reportage upon the thoroughly alien doings of vast corporate publishers, I like nothing better than to flee, blabbing and weeping, into the arms of a micro-RPG. Scumhead’s Franzen – released a few days ago on Steam and Itch – has a couple of big draws, straight off the bat. Firstly and least importantly, it’s free, which it really shouldn’t be. Secondly and more significantly, it’s one of those rare RPG miniatures that is both richly imagined and snappy, with a busy and befuddling world in which you have immediate clear motivations that escalate rapidly and breed Dire Implications. It also looks like a 16-bit Pathologic, so consider me firmly on board.
I dunno if you’ve heard of this game Starfield, but there’s a lot of talk about it at the moment. It is a roleplaying experience where the role you play is not “Viking-ish warrior who can shout with the power of a million metal frontmen” or “wasteland wanderer downing cans of irradiated coke” but “person in space following a broadly unexciting A-plot”. Much of the most interesting stuff in Starfield is on the periphery of the main story, as is the case with most Bethesda RPGs, but I find Starfield to be much less whimsical (something I won’t relitigate here). As an RPG, Starfield is taking itself seriously, and sometimes this collides with the design game systems and menus.
An example of this is that you are supposed to experience the vastness of space, but cannot do so without going through a lot of loading screens. Another is that you have two sets of clothes: a spacesuit for places that are hostile and have no breathable atmosphere, and street clothes for planets that do. And NPCs keep making fun of me for wearing my spacesuit when I don’t need to, and I hate them for it.
Readers, I have a confession to make. I might have to stop playing Starfield. Not because its main story quests are intensely boring and repetitive. And not because its planets are all mostly dull, lifeless husks. It’s mainly because wherever I go in the universe, I’m haunted by the fleshy spectre of a misshapen man. I’m not even talking about the adoring fan (though he does also stalk my every step, too). Rather, I’m alluding to my own in-game father, who’s randomly generated face and features are so utterly horrifying to me that I do a little sick in my mouth every time I run into him. Who can blame me, honestly, when his mouth is so high it clips right through his goddamn nose?
I am in control of the RPS Game Club this month, so therefore I can do whatever I want – and this time I’m delving into the world of Hypnospace Outlaw‘s music. No other game sounds like Hypnospace. Featuring a veritable mountain of tracks (most of which was composed by the game’s creator, Jay Tholen), Hypnospace’s extensive catalogue stretches across genres both real and imaginary. While Seepage’s Nothing Left For Me is a clear pastiche of Linkin Park, Fre3zer’s Icy Girl is a purposefully poor attempt to mimic Coolpunk, a genre built upon remixes of a jingle for a discontinued soda brand. The most exciting thing about Hypnospace is that its soundtrack is so dense and complex that there’s opportunity to hyperfocus on one particular area to an intense – even problematic – degree.
Enter The Chowder Man, a stetson wearing Kid Rock analogue who makes frequent appearances throughout Hypnospace. A prominent rock musician in the 80s, Erik Helman (portrayed beautifully by musician, comedian and inventor of the Rick Roll Hot Dad) is attempting a last-ditch revival after his music career flatlined, transforming him from Jagger-esque superstar to sold-out jingle writer. The Chowder Man’s in-game discography is strange and varied, spanning from glorious rock ballads to 22 second earworms about a microwavable butter-based dessert. Totalling ten tracks, I have decided that it is my duty – nay, my fate – to rank and review them in their entirety. So let us commence this spiritual journey together, my friends, into the complex mind of The Chowder Man.
In the latest unredacted document oopsie stemming from the US Federal Trade Commission’s efforts to stop Microsoft acquiring Activision Blizzard, an email from Microsoft gaming CEO Phil Spencer has surfaced in which he discusses the idea of buying Nintendo.
The email was sent 6th August 2020 to Microsoft’s current chief marketing officer Chris Capossela and commercial chief marketing officer Takeshi Numoto. It begins with Spencer speculating that Nintendo may be receptive to approaches, thanks to one of Microsoft’s allies, San Fran investment fund ValueAct, buying up Nintendo stock and so, attempting to steer the company’s board towards accepting an acquisition.
“Takesji, I totally agree that Nintendo is THE prime asset for us in Gaming and today Gaming is our most likely path to consumer relevance,” the email begins.
Following in the wake of last month’s sizeable 4.0 update, Genshin Impact’s latest patch is arriving next week – and we now know what to expect from the 4.1 release.
