Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Falling over is the thing in Baby Steps. Sure, the goal in Bennett Foddy and co’s walking sim is technically getting from A to B despite your doughy corpus’ best efforts to get in the way, but it’s the constant stumbling and hilarious unintended pratfalls which make these sorts of games really sing. You get plenty of that playing alone, but for those who want to take things to the next level, Baby Steps has a multiplayer mod that’ll let you slap against your mates and gently bump their mushy forms off course.

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As someone from the north east of England, there’s a good chance my genetic makeup’s some mix of old school celt and one of the many Scandinavian invaders who sailed across looking to conquer back in a time when blokes called Cnut roamed northern Europe. I offer that background in case it helps you understand why, even though I’m not part t-rex as far as I know, the premise of Dinolords very much gets my blood pumping.

It’s a hybrid of medieval strategy and action RPG which injects rideable t-rexes into a war between the Danes and the English, and a closed alpha test of it starts on October 31st, ahead of an early access release next year.

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The world is insufficiently clean and sparkly, so here comes Futurlab with Powerwash Simulator 2. The floor-mopping bonanza will release on 23rd October, a few short weeks from now. The release date announcement accompanies one of those satirical “corporate training” videos, commonly used by videogame creators to sneer indirectly at the sad unfortunates trapped in their Skinner boxes.

The trailer comments of the sequel’s new cleaning tools, for example, that “it all does basically the same thing, but it gives you a false sense of progression, even though you’ve really achieved nothing”. Fine then, Futurlab. I was looking forward to your glorified adult colouring book. I was modestly anticipating the opportunity to absent myself from my personal squalor and while away some hours in your pseudo-therapeutic tribute to Mr Muscles. But now that you’ve ripped off the mask and explicitly told me that I’m an addled hamster, deserving only of contempt, I guess I’ll buy this game about pissing on people instead.

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It’s been over a year since I adopted the Logitech G515 Lightspeed TKL as my daily keyboard, and here it is, still parked on my desk, ready and willing for me to bash out some nonsense about Titanfall or whatever. It’s also what I’m using you inform you that you can get one of your very own, for less, as the G515 is currently on sale both inside and out of Amazon’s Prime Big Deal Days event.

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God, look at me. Recommending a PCIe 5.0 SSD like I’m some Newegg banner ad. 2023 James would be violently sick. Yet it is in fact 2025, and while cheaper PCIe 4.0 drives still make the most sense to most people, newer and faster 5.0 models have begun to find their place as futureproofed upgrades to high-spec PCs. And if they can be made less of a luxury, all the better, as is the case with Amazon’s current sale on the WD Black SN8100.

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I was rubbing along pretty well in House Of Necrosis before I hurled a vial of unidentified black serum at a squashy purple Devourer. I was hoping the serum would be some kind of poison – I mean, come on, an unidentified black serum? You wouldn’t pour that on your chips. It turned out to be an XP potion, which transformed the Devourer into a Foul Devourer – still squashy, still purple, but with much sturdier defence.

I managed to recover some of the accidentally donated XP by lobbing a cheeky hex, but not enough to boost the stopping power of my homely pawnshop knife and pistol. So down I went in a pool of that special red serum the billionaires like to drink when they’re feeling mortal.

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****, we didn’t mean for that to happen. This has been the response from Call of Duty Black Ops 7 developers Activision to folks spotting that you couldn’t type the name of fellow shooter Arc Raiders into the chat of the game’s beta without it being censored. Yep, you could reportedly get away with Arc or Raiders, but stick the two together, and it was off to the starred-out naughty corner.

Naturally, folks wondered why this was a thing, especially since you could chat about more obvious Black Ops 7 competitor Battlefield 6 to your heart’s content without facing any star-based repercussions.

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At the risk of being viciously cyberbullied for admitting I have a favourite power bank: I have a favourite power bank. It’s the Ugreen Nexode Retractable, and it’s perfect for topping up your Steam Deck, Windows handheld, laptop, headphones, wireless controller, portable fan, or overpriced electric toothbrush. It’s also going cheaper than usual in Amazon’s Prime Big Deal Days sale, shedding 25% off in the UK and 30% off in the US.

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Alright, fine.

Amazon are currently running another Prime Day sale, of sorts – technically it’s Prime Big Deal Days, which is like Prime Day, but worse. Yes, you still need an Amazon Prime account to get the full discounts, and no, there isn’t nearly as much worthwhile PC gaming hardware with discount stickers as there were in the ‘main’ sale.

Still, this one isn’t entirely deprived of good finds. For one, there’s the Logitech G305 Lightspeed, probably my favourite cheap wireless mouse among all cheap wireless mice. It’s even less of a money sink with a Prime account, which currently snips it down to £28 in the UK and $28 in the US, with the latter getting a few different colour options as well.

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Right, it’s time to get ahead of the game. Approach your router and force it to repeat the things Lightning McQueen says about speed at the start of Cars, because Battlefield 6 has a launch patch coming and it sounds like it’ll be weighty. EA say “over 200 changes” will be dropping as part of it and have also teased some potential future additions in their latest beta learnings post.

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