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Brethren! Cease your prattling and pick up your GameCube controllers. It is time to start playing Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem at an unhealthy velocity, while funding lawyers to uphold the legal rights of LGBTQ+ people in the USA.
You head down to the pet shelter in Fortnite. It’s full. Woof, says one invincible banana dog, I barely see my owner because they wanted me to be a banana dog who regularly changes colour. Alas, this cannot be, so they’ve had to spend their V-Bucks on a small army of invincible banana dogs in a variety of hues. You try to cheer up this Sidekick by telling them that their owner can at least change their name and hat at any time. It provides little comfort.
Existing PC vampires of Seattle, you should now have access to the expanded wardrobe Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 devs Paradox and The Chinese Room have rolled out for Halloween. The free update’s fresh hairstyles, makeup styles, and eye colours were only on offer to folks who started fresh saves initially, something that it turns out wasn’t intentional.
Onion Games have released the English language version of Stray Children, a “bittersweet, fairytale RPG” I hadn’t heard of till Oisin wrote it up in June, and then became very excited about.
Created by Onion Games, the developers of Moon: Remix RPG Adventure, Stray Children takes place in a world of kids besieged by monstrous adults. The kids live in a stronghold, while the adults, aka Olders, roam the landscapes beyond, each “carrying the heavy load of their own inadequacies, self-doubt, and all of the grievances that grown-ups gather”.
Apex Legends is rolling out its Season 27 update next Tuesday, November 4th, and RPS has been furnished with an overview of its meatiest rejigging work. I haven’t playtested this megapatch so unlike with Season 25, I can’t say from experience how any of these changes will get you killed. Still, since it tweaks my favourite map, my favourite playable Legend, and my favourite hovercar, I feel uniquely qualified to declare without evidence whether they’re good or not.
I’m not that keen on extraction games like Arc Raiders. The last two I played at length were Tom Clancy’s The Division (specifically its Survival mode), which features possibly my favourite videogame piles of trash, and Hunt: Showdown, which features possibly my favourite (i.e. the absolute worst) videogame spider. I just don’t see the point of a loot commute, even with other players around to add spice. Still, I do think I’ll spend more time in Arc – out now on Steam, EGS and the Microsoft Store – after losing a few hours to a pre-release multiplayer session last week. Amongst other things, it has an enticing buried city and a neat sliding mechanic.
Amazon have cancelled their second attempt at a Lord Of The Rings MMO as part of recent mass layoffs, according to a now-former senior gameplay engineer at Amazon Games.
Once upon a time, the great graven cave troll Terry Cavanagh rose from his slumbers, scratched the opals from his beard of woven copper, and said to himself: “Today I will make a 3D egg platform game in which a 3D egg goes platforming, like my hit game VVVVVV, but 3D and with eggs.” And because there was no-one around to say “WTF, Terry” or “perhaps you are just hungry” or “Mr Cavanagh, the egg’s paucity of external appendages and senses wholly disallow it as a means of self-directed locomotion”, that is exactly what he did.
We are all the richer for it, because Egg (subtitle “why not be an egg”) is eggcellent. It’s also free and playable right now in a browser on Itch.io.
For as video gamey a series as The Matrix is, it is a touch surprising there have only been a handful of actual games. Obviously the one that makes most sense is The Matrix Online, what other genre but an MMO could The Matrix could be? Well, there’s also Enter The Matrix, which is basically Max Payne, but you still have to wonder what else could have been. Especially because The Wachowskis literally pitched the idea of Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima making a Matrix game directly to Konami.
Right, what do we have here, a new game called The Florist, ‘ey? About a woman delivering a beautiful flower arrangement to a lakeside town? Well, surely this is one of those wholesome, cosy games I’ve been hearing about! Nope! It is, in fact, a survival horror, and not the kind that’s trying to trick you like I just made a less than half-arsed attempt at.
