Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

In regular Darkest Dungeon 2, your mind, body and soul are fixed upon the points of a horrible mountain, looming over the inn at the end of every foetid wagon ride. It’s sort of Journey for plague doctors, or possibly The Hobbit: Cosmodick Turpin Edition. I enjoy feeling the weight of those distant peaks upon my brain and eyeballs, but it’s nice to fire up Kingdoms, the new free DD2 game mode that’s launched just today, and have a choice of disasters to trundle toward.

Over here is an inn being overrun by slathering beastmen. Over there is another, safer inn, but it’s inconveniently perched behind a nest of tentacular cultists. In the middle there is you, with the customary DD party of half-dead, half-mad adventurers, equipped with an exciting smorgasbord of sharp edges, cursed artefacts, phobias and diseases. Let us proceed laughing and wailing to the launch trailer.

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Assassin’s Creed publishers Ubisoft are making another round of layoffs as part of wider efforts to persuade their investors to stop yelling at them. They’re letting 185 people go across their European operations, and will be closing UK-based Ubisoft Leamington, whose recent projects include supporting development of Star Wars Outlaws and Skull And Bones. All this less than two months after jettisoning the hundreds of people who worked on free-to-play shooter XDefiant.

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Today I learned about balut, a street food of the Philippines. It’s a fertilized duck egg, boiled or steamed, in which you can still see the duck embryo as you munch. I’m too old to discover this acquired taste on a gap year, but I’m not too old to waltz down the horror aisle in Itch.io, throwing retro jumpscarers into my basket. Which is where first-person Filipino suspense game Hapunan can be found. You play a young street food vendor hawking the eggs on a quiet corner late at night. Naturally, something alarming is afoot. There is talk on the radio of dangerous folk out at night…

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I reckon you’re likely to be in one of two camps with precision platformer Bauhaus Bonk – which I instantly appreciate for giving me an excuse to use the word “bopping” – either finding it so easy you wonder what the point is, or getting genuinely sucked in by its deceptive trickiness. It’s a single-button affair, having you navigate levels by alternating a pivot-point on a shape I don’t know the name of so I’m just going to call a spinny stick.

There are moving background elements in some stages – in others, you make your own pace. Except I can’t really make my own pace, can I Bauhaus Bonk? Because the swing soundtrack makes me feel like a plodding buffoon if I’m not responding with appropriate gusto. This is entrapment, game. I am devilishly compelled by swing, like a Reefer Madness extra.

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Pogs are something I never consciously think about until something reminds me of Pogs, at which time I am instantly very excited about Pogs. The latest reminder being Snow Town Geek Store, a shopkeeping sim brimming with 2000’s non-tude. Like the 2000’s themselves, it feels both alive with promise and liable to turn bad at any moment. But I do very much enjoy both its energy and soundtrack, based on what little information is currently available. A tray-tray for you, the discerning tray-tray viewer:

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Doom is back, and this time it’s bringing its signature blend of demon-slaying chaos and heavy-metal energy to medieval times. Doom: The Dark Ages launches on May 15 for PC, Xbox Series X|S, and PS5—unless you’re eyeing one of the pricier editions, which grant early access starting May 13. Naturally, our attention is on the PC edition and, of course, where to get it for the best price.

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If you turn 33 years old in the next couple of months then, sorry, you are dead. I don’t make the rules, that’s just how Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 explains the lack of elders in its very French yet very JRPG world. The fantasy game will see you journey across a dangerous landscape to stop the mad “paintress” who’s magically culling humanity at younger and younger ages every year. We’ve been keeping a weary middle-aged eye on its development, and yesterday it got a release date. It’s too late for most of us in the RPS treehouse. But watch the trailer for yourself, maybe you’ll make it.

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Good news for anyone eager to meet a big talking catfish. A new trailer for action adventure game South Of Midnight sees players battering monsters from the folklore of the US’ Deep South. It shows hero Hazel arguing with her mum before a supernatural hurricane cuts off the family drama and sends Hazel wandering the swamps to encounter giant alligators, giant fish, giant dolls, and giant people. Maybe Hazel is just very small. Either way, it also dangles an important morsel in front of our snapping jaws: a release date. Come see.

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Team Ninja and Koei Tecmo have surprise-released Ninja Gaiden 2: Black, an Unreal Engine 5 version of Xbox 360 hack-and-slasher Ninja Gaiden 2. It’s out right now on Microsoft’s Game Pass service. I’d say it has materialised from the darkness like a ninja, but there are a lot of ninjas in circulation right now and my analogy-jitsu gauge is running dry. So instead, I’m going to say that it has materialised from the darkness like a resurfacing duck, its beak stuffed with pond vegetation. The pond vegetation, here, stands for “tweaks to the weapons upgrade system”. Here’s a trailer.

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Where were you on October 11th last year? If you were Edwin, Brendy, or myself – which, statistically, you are not – you were writing news articles about one of three aspirant spiritual successors to detective RPG Disco Elysium. It was an “I’m Spartacus”-ass day of press releases, culminating in the announcement of a project from former ZA/UM writers Argo Tuulik and Olga Moskvina.

Before that came sci-fi RPG XXX Nightshift, and before that was an unnamed “psychogeographic RPG” from newly formed Longdue. We now know that it’s called Hopetown, and Longdue are set to launch a crowdfunding campaign which you can “pre-register” for here, should you wish. Here’s the sell:

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