It’s never too early in the week to play 4D minigolf

I didn’t sleep last night for entirely self-inflicted reasons and my brain feels like that one accursed hoover bag you refuse to empty, because there is no way of doing so that won’t turn the neighbourhood into Silent Hill. I need to avoid any complicated write-ups, or my brain will detonate similarly and paint north London grey.

Ah, a minigolf game! I think I can just about hack the concept of minigolf, on this most desperate of Mondays. It is golf but mini. Bonzai golf. Digestible! Intuitive! Why, I’ve managed to write 100 words without even looking at the Steam page. Let’s do so now. Wait a minute, this isn’t minigolf. It’s Mini Mini Golf Golf. What is Mini Mini Golf Golf? “Destabilize the present and plunge into a neon psychohistory of a bizarre entity in distress,” the Steam page explains. “This is not a game about minigolf.” It is too late to flee.

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Thysiastery is an anime Legend Of Grimrock, and you can attack the dinosaur merchants if you’re a complete monster

One of my lesser quality tests for an RPG is whether the shopkeepers complain at you for not buying anything. Grumpy shopkeepers, good RPG. This most specific of litmus tests has served me well, although I must admit that I’d happily upgrade it to ‘shopkeepers you can attack’, would that not disqualify 99% of games. But not turn based dungeon crawler Thysiastery, it turns out. This “dungeon crawler RPG featuring traditional roguelike and turn-based gameplay” apparently trusts you enough to let you recklessly batter its friendly wandering lizard merchants. You’d be a monster for it, of course, but it’s nice to have options.

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The Monster Hunter Wilds beta is live with an early glimpse of the new camping, wound and weather systems

Stroll on down to Uncle Capcom’s garage, girls and boys, because it’s time to meddle with a cat’s voicebox, ride a combat peacock and meticulously injure a vast, blubbery teddybear. By which I mean, the Monster Hunter Wilds beta is now live on Steam through to 4th November at 2.59am GMT. That’s 2.59am sharp. If you’re hurrying along at 3am on Monday absolutely desperate to polish the aesthetics of a small enslaved catperson, you can sod off and play Dragon Age: The Veilguard instead.

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Showa American Story is Yakuza: Dead Souls meets Tokyo Gore Police, and it looks incredible

Some days, I wonder if every word written before a trailer is actually superfluous. It’s a visual medium, after all. What can a description achieve save to clumsily gesture at the true shape of something; a dog-eared tour brochure for a thrilling weekend spelunking in Plato’s cave? I can usually shake this feeling, but gory zombie action game Showa American Story is my breaking point. There is nothing I can impart about this thing that will not be conveyed better by allowing its new trailer to wash over you like a tide of sheer videogame. Here’s it:

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Respawn have killed Apex Legends’ Steam Deck support in the name of anti-cheat

The Steam Deck is something of a talisman for gaming on Linux, its popularity and penguin-powered SteamOS having almost singlehandedly dragged it past MacOS as the second-most-used operating system among Steam users. Sadly, this also means the Valve handheld is the primary casualty when developers decide to stop bothering with Linux support, as Respawn Entertainment have decided to do for Apex Legends.

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