Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

I’ve been scouring Steam Next Fest demos specifically for something laid back, and Spilled! – despite sounding like the title of a musical about upturned milk – has delivered nicely. It’s a light and breezy ocean cleanup game that has you sailing a cute lil’ boat around polluted seas, cleansing oil patches and scooping up plastic bottles. Even if it doesn’t have the every-last-speck detailing of PowerWash Simulator or Viscera Cleanup Detail, it satisfies in very similar ways, and I would very much like to get back out on the water whenever the full game is complete.

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Maybe you can relate, but I tend to find I crave twee and colorful things proportionally inverse to my melancholy. If I’m having a good week, give me Fear and Hunger and horrible films like Speak No Evil. If, like this week for some reason, I feel like bursting into tears at inopportune moments, I need silly little guys doing whimsical activities. Enter Dungeon Clawler. It’s a vaguely Slay The Spire-ish roguelite where you grab weapons from a claw machine while you fight. It’s got lazy Steam Deck depression nap written all over it. The main theme reminds me of Zombies Ate My Neighbors, and the character I picked is named Sir Bunalot.

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You like F.E.A.R.? You like DOOM? Yeah, I bet you like FPSing where you’re outsmarting soldiers in offices with a nailgun and gibbing demons like you’re ploughing a Hummer through a sequence of pheasants in an alternate universe Evil Somerset. No, it doesn’t boast a title in all-caps, but Selaco‘s early access release more than deserves it’s spot as a must-play for those who desire some sophistication with their ultra-violence.

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Fucksweeper is a difficult game to play in shared accommodation, a very difficult game to play in the crowded airport lounge I’m currently sitting in, and an incredibly difficult game to play on the airplane I will shortly be boarding. What is Fucksweeper? Discerning videogame cognoscente that you are, I feel like you should be able to read the title and form some broad conclusions. But for those who never owned a Windows PC in the 90s, Fucksweeper is a free, titillating, revolting, beautiful, apocalyptic new version of classic avoid-the-bombs grid puzzler Minesweeper that incorporates elements of dating sims and a vast quantity of generative AI filth. Maybe turn down the volume before watching this video.

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After the climatic end to a decade-long saga in Endwalker, anticipation is high for Final Fantasy XIV’s next expansion, Dawntrail. I got to try out the game and talk to Director Naoki Yoshida (aka Yoshi-P) about new Jobs and the difficulty of incorporating fan feedback (not to mention the reasons the Warrior of Light has such great skin – you’ll see). But how can the Square Enix possibly hope to follow the highs of Endwalker, including space travel and a fight against the physical embodiment of sorrow? By taking us on holiday, of course.

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Mods are to Baldur’s Gate 3 what butter is to bread, that unreadable squiggle-font is to death metal bands or wheels are to the bottom of trainers when you’re a kid: not necessarily essential, per se, but so harmonious and well-suited that they feel essential. In the case of the D&D CRPG, it’s a natural extension of playing dungeon master around the table, crafting the world and its characters as you see fit – typically by making everyone in Faerûn even hornier somehow.

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The Last of Us Part II will follow its predecessor onto PC, according to a new report – but despite development on the PC port supposedly being completed months ago, we might be waiting until 2025 for a release date.

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We knew a PC adapter for PlayStation’s VR2 headset was on the way, and it looked to be fairly soon – and we were right! Sony’s shiniest virtual reality offering is now confirmed to be adding official PC support via a nifty wired adapter at the start of August. It’ll cost £50/$60 – but whether it’s worth the price given a number of key features will be missing is another question entirely…

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This week we finally got our raging bear gauntlets on Elden Ring Shadow Of The Erdtree, an even dingier and danker edition of 2022’s best and dankest open worlder, but perhaps you’d rather play a Soulslike with a Florentine flounce and the warmth of a Mediterranean sunset on its brow. A brighter, stagier variety of action-role-playing, which deepens the connection between Italian folklore and Soulsliking established by last year’s Lies Of P. Well then: cast aside those ursine mitts, slip on a pair of immaculate white theatre gloves and get your thumbs into Enotria: The Last Song, which has a demo on Steam.

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In Sorry We’re Closed, an axe-murdering entrepreneur called Jenny is described in newspaper clippings as both a serial embezzler and as the city’s “wealthiest bachelorette”. Aside from being a dry reflection of tabloid reporting on women who commit crimes (bad woman! sexy, bad woman!) this is also the kind of incidental character-building you can expect in this perky, retro-styled survival horror. It plays like Silent Hill charged with the hot pink body horror of Porpentine interactive fiction. And judging by my hour of unsettled strolling through the decrepit tube station of the game’s demo, it’s a powerful combo.

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