Category: Rock, Paper, Shotgun

As I have now casually mentioned in about 400 news posts, I’m moving flat soon. During the quest for a new flat – a quest I would slot somewhere between return to Ravenholm in Half-Life 2 and the Shalebridge Cradle in Thief: Deadly Shadows in terms of overall hopefulness and unpleasant surprises – I toyed briefly with the idea of living in a mobile home.

You can find all kinds of weirdo moving property on Gumtree – houseboats, caravans, yurts, large coats, coffins – but they all share the disadvantage of being cramped and more expensive than described and inadequate to the power and internet needs of a Maxed-Out Videogame Journalist. If I’d seen a house with chicken legs, though? It’d have been worth the sacrifice. Just think, whenever James Archer gives me grief about my performance in Lethal Company I could send my house to step on him.

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Open world fantasy RPG Runes emits a deeply powerful aura. I can tell it’s deeply powerful because MSI Afterburner’s fan control immediately went mental after I loaded up its free Steam combat demo. What do you mean ‘unoptimised’? That alarming sound is simply my computer shaking with awe at the fearless flippancy required to leave enemies fully untextured so they resemble Metal Gear Solid’s cyborg ninja. The promise of an indie fantasy RPG drew me in, but I must admit, I almost didn’t bother writing about this upon learning the demo is just a pre-Kickstarter combat slice. But something about it entrances me. What it lacks in textures, it makes up for in sheer moxy. You can’t optimise moxy! You can either make MSI shudder in terror or you can’t.

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Former Microsoft senior PR lead Brad Hilderbrand has blogged about the recent closure of Tango Gameworks and Arkane Austin, making a familiar case that Microsoft’s gaming division are now expected “to cut expenses to the bone” in the wake of the wildly expensive acquisition of Activision Blizzard and amid slowing growth of the Game Pass subscription business. In Hilderbrand’s view, Game Pass will likely never be sustainable or profitable. Microsoft’s only chance on this front, he says, is “to put all the world’s biggest games on the service” – namely, Call of Duty, which still earns hundreds of millions annually in direct sales, or GTA 6, which, hahahaha.

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Ah, it feels like only yesterday that Microsoft shut down Tango Gameworks, creators of Hi-Fi Rush, and now here’s Matt Booty, head of Xbox Game Studios, telling Microsoft staff at an internal townhall meeting that “we need smaller games that give us prestige and awards” – a sentence we might plausibly lengthen to “…like Hi-Fi Rush”.

See, these are the kinds of glacial changes of focus and ponderous shifts of strategy you often get at very large videogame publishers such as Microsoft. Trends are cyclical and corporations are sort of just these massive, sleepy hamsters, trundling around the wheel to rediscover practices and projects they once deemed bad for business. Hang on, let me go look up “yesterday” in the dictionary and fetch some sellotape – my brain appears to have exploded.

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I spent this morning being pseudo-profound about Animal Well and pseudo-elegaic about Tango Gameworks, so now it’s time to get back to the Real Business – being a pseud on the subject of videogame gun balancing.

The game in question is cheery co-op shooter Helldivers 2, over which Aunty Sony recently upended a can of furious worms by abruptly insisting that Steam players have a PSN account for security reasons and so, blocking players in regions where PSN isn’t available. Sony have subsequently walked back the requirement following a backlash of truly hellish proportions, though I understand that the game remains unavailable on Steam in certain regions. By comparison, Arrowhead CEO’s Johan Pilestedt remarks overnight that the developers might have been “removing the fun” with their gun balancing seems pretty innocuous.

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When I asked Tango Gameworks creative director John Johanas whom he’d give Hi-Fi Rush‘s Best Audio trophy away to at this year’s GDC Awards, he said he’d split it between the game’s audio team and “the person who taught me everything I know” – Shinji Mikami, Tango’s founder and one of the erstwhile Capcom and Platinum big brains behind Resident Evil, Vanquish and much more besides. I confess, I found this response annoying – partly because I was hoping Johanas would bring up some obscure indie composer I could then namecheck at parties, and partly, because I have spent years waiting for Tango to escape Mikami’s shadow after essentially announcing themselves as a Mikami fan project back in 2010.

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Computers have always been animal wells, in a sense. They’re havens for creatures of many shapes and degrees of literalness, all the way down to the metal. As in ecologies at large, the most abundant and widespread are probably the bugs, beginning with the moth that flew into that Harvard Mark II in 1947 and ending with the teeming contents of the average free-to-play changelog. A little further up the food chain we find “worms”, like the Creeper that once invaded the ARPANET, and “gophers“, a directory/client system written in 1991 for the University of Minnesota. There are computer animals spawned by branding – foxes of fire and twittering birds and the anonymous beasts that haunt the margins of Google documents. There are computer animals that are implied by the verbs we use in computing – take “browser”, derived from the old French word for nibbling at buds and sprouts, which suggests that all modern internet searches are innately herbivorous.

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I’m playing Rusty’s Retirement as I type this article. This cute farming sim runs at the bottom of your screen as you go about your working day. You can plant crops, hire watering robots, harvest blueberry bushes, raise pigs, all while validating the spreadsheets from Paula in accounts. Paula! Where are the running totals!? I can’t find the running t- oh, they’re under the turnips. Sorry, Paula. My bad.

But can you actually play “idle games” like this while getting your work day done? Aren’t they distracting and obstructive? These are important questions. I plan to find the answers by playing Rusty’s Retirement while simultaneously – and dutifully – completing days of work. Let’s go!

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Among Us, the super popular game where you control a little bean guy to bamboozle your pals, is getting a bunch of new things this year. Developers Innersloth unveiled the game’s 2024 roadmap, which promised new roles, lobby tweaks and better “Bean Fashion” among a few other bits and pieces.

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A recent update for procgen whodunnit sim Shadows of Doubt added “Sharpshooter Assassins” with high-powered rifles to the game’s glowering alternate-1980s cities, with players having to work out the killer’s vantage point by deducing a bullet’s trajectory, before proceeding to a secondary crime scene to search for a murder weapon and witnesses. The prospect of snipers certainly adds menace to the game’s forensic sandboxing. The trouble is, the shooters aren’t always as sharp as they could be.

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